You see what I've caused?
I start fights
Left and right
Someone's standing beside me
And I have the urge to push them away
Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I seem to want to be alone?
Why do I want to hit someone who
Never hit me first,
At least not with their fists.
I just want someone to feel like I do
Understand exactly what I'm going through
See the world through my eyes
And finally understand
Because inside I'm unraveling
And on the outside so is the group
Is it because of me-
Or is it we?-
That's causing this dysfunction?
All I know is I want to make is stop
Make this nightmare end
Make the dreams come back
Have them start again
17 comments:
wow.
Kena, you know you'll never be alone. Our group can stand through anything. I know how you feel about unraveling, I went through a whole hero's journey about it. You know what's funny? I do know some of what you mean, but when I went through, I get the strong impression that none of you, or my family, even knew that I was suffering. The signs were there, but nobody bothered looking. However, I am determined to be the Guardian, whether I really am supposed to be or not. So when you're suffering, I'll always stand by you, and you know you can tell me anything. Want to know why I studied psychology so much? It's because I knew that at least Jin was a lot different and scared than me inside. I studied so I would be able to understand why, if not how, so that I might help her. I do it for all of you. I pray for all of you, too. Want to know why I'm the Guardian? I feel like I need to protect you from some of your drama, because there is always going to be an oppressing force against us. Whether it be the world, ourselves, or the devil. I'll always stand by you, for I'm eternally your friend. You KNOW you can talk to me, so smile a little already. Just for me. At least once. :)
Call me, before I call you. (If I remember... :( )
Love you all.
aw! that's sweet.
i feel confused.
why?
that was...a little...hmm.
well, kena, know that you're not thr reason. i think it's just that we're getting a real harsh blow to our group. and before we can get better from it, we have to endure the worst. i guess. i dunno, it might not get better ever. but it might. i really don't know, i'm not some future teller. but, all i'm saying is that if you endure it, stick close to all of us, then we should be okay. i mean, what are the odds of staying together if we all hold hands than if you let go right? just stay close, but that doesn't mean telling us everything. you said you won't tell anyone everything, well, that's fine. you don't need to do that to stay close.
oh, thanks. now that i'm not the reason things are exploding in everyone's face we can all just forgive me and move on to blaming someone else. i see how it is.
so we're like, not eve hardly friends anymore? is that what this is? i thought before you said you wanted me to tell you everything, now you just don't care. i don't know what's going on with you and I don't know who you really are, but I know that you aren't who I thought you were.
They had an argument. And completely ignored my comment! *affronted* Thanks for YOUR comment, though, Rose, I liked it. :)
Kena, Jin isn't saying she's not your friend anymore, she's just saying that you don't have to tell her (us?) what you don't want to. I also don't think anyone was blaming you for the group drifting apart, but I don't think the group is really drifting apart. I think we are all just growing, and need to make room. When you cling so tightly to people, as I feel I do to you guys rather a lot, it doesn't leave any space between the two to grow and change. If you can't change and grow, well, then what is the point of life? I'm going to try to let go a little, we can't always know what is going on in each others lives 24/7 (even if it is any Guardians dream), and our lives don't consist of only each other. We all have family, and different interests, and school work. "What matters isn't how often we see each other, but how often we think of each other." -Hayner, KH2.
We'll always be close friends, because our hearts have been eternally touched and changed by each other. For the better. We'll always be friends, even when we get married and possibly move different places, we will always be close. Right? This is the agreement I enter into with every new friendship, just because that's what friendship means. Especially when we are as close as six peas in a pod.
Friendship, Family, and Faith, are all for eternity.
yeah. except peas stay in the pod. and peas get eaten. i don't want to be eaten. and Jin always wanted me to tell her how i really felt. i finally snapped and did and she got mad. what am I supposed to do about that?!
An excellent question. Too bad I don't know the answer to that one. I know I ramble a lot, but most of that is just me talking because I don't get to say these things to anyone, and no one can stop you on the blogs. Well, let me think of something. You could:
1.Tell her that's whats' going on/how you feel, and if you can't like me for it too bad.
2.See why it makes her angry, there might be some mis-communication.
I should apologize for all my rambling here, and everywhere. I know I tend to go on and on, and I know I'm really nosy. I'll try to back off a little, sometimes I forget I can't fix everything just by talking. Sorry. my fault...
...that didn't sound angry to me. then again, maybe I'm just being the oblivious one over here again.
on a completely random topic, when do mac and jin get out of school? and we need to decide on a place to do some kind of end of school celebration. places as (probably) options so far: ali's house or lizzy's grandma's.
i wasn't mad. i was just saying. of course i WANT you to say everything to me, to tell me everything. but you keep saying over and over that you won't and can't say everything to me. so i said that you don't have to tell us everything. i never said i didn't want you to.
"oh, thanks. now that i'm not the reason things are exploding in everyone's face we can all just forgive me and move on to blaming someone else. i see how it is."
no, that's not how it is. first) we weren't blaming you, you were blaming yourself and i said you weren't the reason
second) we're not going to blame someone else because it's nobody's fault this is happening to us. it's just happening. i beleieve things happen for a reason, and that the world makes it happen, i don't know why the earth does it but it does. so i know that it's not a persons fault our friendship is being tried. and we're more than just hardly friends, i mean come on, we've made it through SO much together, how could that even be possible?
I'm not gonna read thriugh all these fat ass comments, but all of the fighting has been my fault if you're wondering...
we know. and i thought you weren't allowed on here anymore. and stop swearing.
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